What Is Best For YOU

In my previous post, I mentioned that The Boy was acting kind of off on the last day we spent with him in Florida.  Considering we were still getting to know him, Justin and I both wondered if we were just reading him wrong.

About two days after we got back from Florida, we got a call from The Boy's main caseworker.  And she gave us some heartbreaking news.

She reported that after we dropped him off where he lives the day we left, he and the caseworker walked back in the building and were going to go into a room and talk about how things went.  She said that they hadn't even gotten the door closed when his eyes welled up and he could hardly talk.

In panic, she asked him what was wrong.

"I don't really know how to say it," he said.

After some coaxing, she got him to open up.

The night before, after we'd had such a good day hanging out with him at the facility and talking at the beach, two of his biological family members called him.  And they said some very confusing things to him.  That they'd looked it up, and he was basically going to be the first black person in the state of Utah.  That he was too old to be adopted and that a white family could never accept him for who he was.

Obviously none of those things are true.  But.

But.

I can only imagine the emotional turmoil The Boy was going through.

He'd just had a good day with us, started making some bonds and connections.  But these were biological family members who were making him doubt.  These were people who had known him his entire life.

I don't want you to get me wrong.  I am in no way trying to make them look bad.  Because they were trying to protect him, they were showing concern for him.  I can't imagine how they must feel about this seemingly random family coming in, saying they will take care of this child, and then moving him most of the way across the country.  I'd be cautious too.

The caseworker asked him, "Well, did you like the family?"

"Yeah, I really did."

"So that has to be your decision," she told him.  "You have to remember that you're not with your biological family right now for a reason, and this decision has to be about what is best for you.  You can't let them make that decision for you anymore."

How hard must that be for a barely 14 year old boy?

I certainly wasn't ready for those kinds of decisions at his age.

With a few days to process, everyone reported to us that The Boy still felt good about moving forward with us.  But I will tell you, those few days until we got word were agony.  I wasn't sure what I was going to do if this boy, who I knew was supposed to be a part of our family, said he had changed his mind.  Thankfully, I didn't have to face that.

God's plan continues to move forward.

Coming up next: his visit to Utah.